One of the first things our conversation(s) uncovered is that our Top 5 Strengths are easily forgotten. It seems common to do the StrengthsFinder and then forget it. The Truth About You video gives you an alternate approach to discovering your strengths. That approach is a simple, alternative method for observing your strengths: a pen, paper, and scribbles. For a week, scribble a note when something you are doing makes you feel strong, engaged, excited, etcetera. How did you feel before, during, and after? Also, scribble a note when you hate to do something – something that makes you feel weak, drained, and lifeless. You should have two categories: "I Loved It" and "I Loathed It."  Your strengths may begin to emerge from what you discover in your scribbles. “Each week, we should move towards those things that energize us.”

However, to fully benefit from our conversation, we may have to let go of three myths that impact our thinking.

The first myth: We change as we get older. In actuality, we tend to live more into our true Self, becoming more of who we are. That does not mean that we do not change. But there may be more to us than just our personality. 

A second myth: we need to dwell on our weaknesses. All through our lives, we are taught that we need to strengthen our weaknesses rather than our strengths.

The third myth. “The best teams have well-rounded people.” Rather, the best teams (or communities) have people with strong strengths that complement each other. Strong communities and organizations recognize and encourage our uniqueness.

But there are also other ways of gaining insight and learning. Sometimes our strengths are only raw talents that need to be developed. First, we should look for insights in our daily life experiences – teachable moments. Further, we should be observing others to see their unique strengths and encouraging them to develop them. This is a shift in orientation from The Self to The Other.

How do we consider the strengths of others? This is about being listened to and seen. It is about being attuned to your Self and to Others.

There are at least two things we can do. First, make space for someone to discover, develop, and deploy their strengths.

Second, we can help the Other when they are stuck in doing what they have to do and can’t find a path to their strengths. We can help them find other ways and other places to animate their strengths. 

There is a disconnect when a strengths assessment does not cross over into everyday language and experience. Learning, memorable insight, and growth happen in our mundane daily moments. 

If we do not develop our strengths and the strengths of others, we risk remaining in an inanimate existence. This invokes Anais Nin’s statement: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

But something was haunting our discussion. A ghost in our conversation. Something unspoken. It felt something like: our strengths are important, but being a certain kind of person is more foundational, more important, than our strengths. We need to explore this further.

What can we take away from our discussion and turn into praxis for this week? We should put on Peter’s shirt: “Go where you feel most alive.” And in our going, we might gently try to notice others when they show sparks of being fully alive, guiding them towards a strong life.

Our next conversation is May 5th (Cinco de Mayo). It is about you and your personality.